The Parable of the Prodigal Stake Horse

Famed Backer E-Dog had two favourite Stake horse’s, Bill Gazes and Gavin Williams and Lo he was proud on the odd occasion they returned unto him something that was more than peanuts. One day Gavin came to E-Dog and said “You now have made much money from my endeavours, I would like my fair share of this, as a respected and honourable player I deserve it”.

So E-Dog thought on this and decided to give a fair share to both of his favourite stake horses.So E-Dog Neteller’d each ‘Son’ $1,000,000 Gavin decided seeing as he had so much money he would have some fun with it and posted this on twoplustwo a thread entitled “How should I blow my dough?”. E-Dog warned Gavin to use the money wisely and play within his roll, this angered him greatly, Gavin did post “Up yours man, im going to have some fun.

I hate you, you’re so sad. Urrrrr, I hate you. You treat me like a kid!”So Gavin did leave in a big copulating huff, he left a loving Las Vegas home with many poker friends and most importantly he left E-Dog who had loved his play enough to entrust him with his stake monies and this made E-Dog extremely sad indeed and he did miss Gavin very much as he was a funny fcker.

Soon stories began to trickle back to Vegas that Gavin was making wild and lavish posts on The Quendon Mob (An English forum started by a group of Bridge players who originated in the small market town near Saffron Walden in England, the forum is renowned for being mostly populated by those on the fringes of the Bridge Community, real wild men by all accounts) and he had also been spotted on Full Tilt poker playing at the very highest tables, playing at limits that everyone knew where reckless to play even on a $1,000,000 (about €1,000 at the current exchange rate for European readers) bankroll.

Eventually all the money was gone and with it so where his new forum ‘Fair weather’ friends, soon Gavin was forced to play FTP point comps and eventually he was reduced to playing 2700 man free roll’s for very little return. His complaint’s about bad beats in free rolls soon saw him ridiculed on his new forums and eventually banned when he told all and sundry to “Suck on Big Gav’s cock you mothers!” Shortly after grinding for four hours and beating 2680 players to win .05, he realized he had reached rock bottom.As Gavin sat hunched over his PC poised to try and register for an after dark free roll before it filled, he found himself considering asking random players to wire him $1 and Lo this was the moment he decided something had to be done.

Gavin thought “At least when I was in Vegas it was warm and the buffets where plentiful although the food was of inferior quality, I shall return to Vegas and throw myself on E-Dogs Mercy”.So Gavin returned to Vegas and was hoping to be allowed to sleep on E-Dogs sofa and maybe do his laundry for food money till he got back into action. When he knocked on E-Dogs door he was warmly greeted by E-Dog “Gavin my old son, welcome back”. Gavin doth reply “I’m sorry E-Dog, I have sinned against you, Poker and Doyle, please forgive me and just let me sleep on your Sofa until I can get back unto the action”. Gavin wanted to continue to beg forgiveness but E-Dog stopped him “Welcome home Gavin, I will put you unto the action at once with a 50-50 chop.

Also I shall arrange a party tonight with much beer and many hookers!”Meanwhile Bill Gazes was busy cleaning out the pool after just completing a hard mornings work clearing E-Dogs guttering when he heard a commotion. Intrigued he wondered what was going on and listened into E-Dog’s frantic phone calls to arrange the party he was annoyed and resented the welcome Gavin was receiving so he decided to give the party a wide berth.

When E-Dog came to hear of this he did say unto him, “Bill, what the copulate is wrong with you?” To which Bill did reply, “Its not fair E-Dog, my staking brother went away and lost all his money playing high stake’s limits on Full Tilt and posting on forum’s that are ghey! Then he doest return and you throw him a party with Beer and hookers, I have stayed her and done works around your house the whole time and played at sensible stake well within my bankroll, yet you doeth treat me like the ghey one and throw no party in my honour!” E-Dog replied “But Bill we have to celebrate and be glad because this staking brother of yours was lost and now he is found! And besides he makes me laugh as his of his copulating head”