Matthew VI

Feeding the 5000

And the many had gathered to hear the Phesus talk about pot odd’s and playing small ball poker and the like. And it came to pass that the buffet had closed and the people where hungry. So Phesus did call for take out pizza’s and they did feed all the gathered masses, and Phesus did pay the bill and Lo he did tell everyone he had paid the bill so as they doeth not leave without knowing what a truly class act the Phesus is, AHEM.

Parable of the workers in Phil’s vineyard

And Phesus did ask his Disciples to sit upon the ground beneath the shade of an olive tree and he did tell them a parable,“There was once a rich, powerful, wise and handsome landowner named Phil, he wished to have his Vineyard cut down and burned to prepare for a new building he was going to have built to hold all the trophies he had earned from the game of the poker, Phil being wise did not wish to pay tax on these workers so he hired a group of immigrants standing on the corner of a street first thing in the morning”“He agreed to pay them all a shiny dollar for there days work and they where happy to receive it.

In the afternoon he returned to the same corner and there where more immigrants so he employed them as well to work in his vineyard”“In the late afternoon Phil again returned to the corner and employed the few remaining immigrants still looking for work and they worked for only an hour or so before the Sun disappeared for the day and work had to finish”“Then Phil gave all the immigrants the promised dollar for the day, and some of the immigrants took umbrage, they Said, “Oh great, handsome and humble Phil, we have toiled all day in the Sun and yet have been paid the same dollar as these guys who have only worked for an hour or so, is this not unfair?”“Phil replied did I not pay you the promised amount of a shiny dollar? Is this not my money to do with as I will? Does me paying these late comers the same as I agreed with you not show what a totally class act I am whilst doing no harm to you? And all the workers agreed that Phil was a class act and asked for autographs which he gave them because he is such a totally classy guy”