Genesis III (with the Ape on Drum’s, which is much better IMO)

Stuey and Slim After ‘The Mounth’ and Annette_15 had to leave the garden of Online poker they where very sad about abusing the almighty in chat and getting perma banned. They asked Doyle how they could show unto him how truly sorry they were. Doyle told them that they could show him how they felt by sacrificing the monies they still held at ultimatedeity.com and allowing it to be used to fund two “Child accounts” on his new site Doylethealmightysroom.com After a while Doyle fancied a game himself so he gave the two sacrificed accounts to a couple of worthy poker players, Stuey and Slim.

Stuey was a LAG who liked to play any two cards with position and aggression whilst Slim was a Rock who liked to play strong hands fast. Like most Rocks and Lags they argued constantly on the correct fundamental approach to the game, but despite the occasional disagreement on how to play AJ from UTG and small pocket pairs from mid position they where as poker brothers and loved each other very much (in a non-ghey way). Then one day Doyle decided to test the players to see who was the most devoted to the game, he decided to make both players sacrifice 50% of there bankroll as stake monies in a best of five series of heads up Hold’em matches. Both players where mortified at having to put such a high percentage of there bank roll at risk having both studied the holy scriptures of Sklansky’s bank roll management but of course agreed as both knew its –EV to piss on the Almighty’s chips.

Slim wanted Doyle to see how solid his game was, whilst Stuey decided to be at his most laggy so Doyle would marvel at his flair and daring. After many hours of hard fought poker the series was tied at 2-2, when Slim just ever so slightly behind in the final decisive match looked down and found two red aces staring back at him. He decided to min-raise to disguise the strength of his hand but to his annoyance Stuey did not bite with a re-raise and verily just called the additional bet. The flop came a nondescript K, 7, 2 rainbow and Lo Slim did call when his poker brother pushed the flop. Stuey showed flopped two pair holding 7-2 (which latter became known as the Hammer of Doyle) which held past the turn and river.

Stuey was sickened that he could call a raise with this crap and angry with God when he heaped so much praise on Slim’s “creative” play and gave him a nice shiny trophy and the monies. Latter that evening Stuey was still angry about the hand that had cost him half his bank roll and could not see how his min-raising had been the true cause of the hand and take responsibility. In anger he thought unto himself “I wish they had convicted him and thrown away the key when he had been accused of the, you know what with the, you know who!” and he begun fantasizing about stealing the monies from his poker brother’s Doylethealmightysroom.com account. Still in the grip of jealousy he invited his brother down to the pub and then spent the evening quizzing him on his niece’s and nephew’s names (ahem), his favourite colour and what he decided to call his first pet. Latter that night he managed to transfer all of the monies from Slims account when he logged on to his account having guessed the password was Mizzi (the name of Slims first dog, a Rottweiler).

Then Doyle appeared unto Stuey and said “Stuey where is your Brothers Monies?” to which Stuey did reply “I don’t know? Am I my Brothers password Keeper?” God replied "Stuey, how could you be so cruel to your only poker brother. He has done nothing, but try to play his best for Me, and lend you money when you needed to buy more of the talcum powder you are so fond of." Stuey fell to the ground sobbing; finally, he felt the horror of what he'd done. And he had to live with that feeling and the knowledge that he'd stole the monies for the rest of his life, or he could just transfer it back or blame it on Dutch Boyd.