The book of Exodus II, No Woman, No Cry!

Journey to Mount Doyle and Doyle’s Laws

The Lagilites celebrate the drowning of the rock army by singing the Song of the Shit (Shite Hiyam). The Lagilites begin there journey across the desert to the Mountain of Doyle and suffer great hardships along the way. When they finally arrive at mount Sinai, Doyle shows himself at the top of the mountain in a display of thunder and lightening (which was very,very frightening, IMO) and Doyle commands Farhases to journey up alone to the mountain top to receive his Poker law’s and if the Lagilites promise to follow this code Doyle will give them the promised land of the Las Vegas.
Doyle’s Poker Law’s
1.) Thou shall put fourth a decision to your opponent for all his chips.
2.) Thou shall not spread yours cards in front of you in your home game, there are no fcking cameras you moran.
3.) Thou shall not act like they do on the telly, especially Brenes, Tony G, Devilfish and that twat Barry Pasken.
4.) Thou shall not covet thy forum neighbor’s avatar.
5.) Thou shall not overuse the phrase Sick because in my opinion that phrase is overused, a bit like in my opinion, in my opinion.
6.) Thou Shall’t give action, to geteth action
7.) Thou Shall not bluff a dry side pot
8.) Thou shall not ‘Hollywood dwell up” on every single fcking decision no matter how inconsequential because you are literally stealing minutes from other people life’s with this bullshit.
9.) Thou shall’t take thy beats on the chin, or don’t fcking play the game at all.
10.) Thou shall not Dwell up for an age before saying “Errmm, all-in” don’t insult our collective intelligences.

When Farhases returns from the mountain he see’s that the Lagilites have started worshiping a false idol called Gold and have begun playing more pots with complete shite than ever thought possible. Farhases throws the tablets to the ground and yells for all Lagilites to hear, “Are U Serious! I have been up this great bloody mountain for you guy’ses to get Doyle laws, and you start worshiping this fcking Gold, unbelievable”.