The book of Exodus I, Movement of Jah people! Oh-oh-oh, yea-eah! Bondage in CA

The Pharaoh of California Lord Flint was beginning to get worried about the growing number of loose aggressive player’s (Lagilites) now entering the game and he was fearful for the future of the tight solid players (Rocks) that he so earnestly represented.One day Pharaoh Greenstein decides to take action and to make an example of Farhases, a well known fearless poker player with a big following amongst the Lagilites. Greenstein forces Farhases from the land of California to the poker wilderness of Michigan.

When Farhases arrives in Michigan and immediately decides to devote his life to his other passion, pornography and he opens the North Wests largest porno emporium.For many years Farhases laboured away moving stacks of Dwarf Porno from the store room and restocking the Cock Rub and his store “Naked Chicks ‘R’ USerious!” was frequented by perverts from miles around. One day whilst restacking the Granny porn shelves he found himself drawn to one particular publication, ‘Nanna Lovin’ and flames began appearing from the nether regions of the over sized septuagenarian “model” that graced the front page.Then Doyle the almighty spoke to him from the Burning bush, and Doyle did say “Farhases get your arse back to California, Greenstein is forcing all the Lagilites to work for some damn charity project. When you appear before Greenstein I will grant you the power to issue miracles and you must free the Lagilites from the oppression of the Rocks! If you don’t I’ll tell everyone where you really got your money from!”Farhases returns to California and appears before Pharaoh Greenstein and tells him to release the Lagilites. Greenstein is enraged and tells him “I will never release them from there bonds of public service! Besides there building a children’s hospital in the shape of giant naked Asian chick!, there work is to important to be interrupted for teh poker”Farhases replies “R U Serious?” and tells Greenstein the Almighty Doyle will unleash seven plagues of spam upon Greensteins favourite forum twoplustwo. And so it comes to pass that Cialis, Viagra, Cheap Meds, Russian web brides, Penis Enlargements, Tranny, Granny and finally Channy Porn (Johnny Chan screwing hookers whilst wearing lurid T-shirts apparently) sweeps over the twoplustwo forum.Pharoah Greenstein sees the misery caused by the spam plagues but refuses to relent, so Doyle Almighty instructs Farhases to institute the ritual of the Straddle, this results in many rocks being killed in the Bicycle cash games and Pharoah Greenstein finally broken agrees to let the Lagilites go, thinking well I’ll just get a load of fence jumpers to finish of my children’s hospital in the shape of a giant naked Asian chick so no harm done.Farhases gathers all the Lagilites together and they exit California and set out for the Mountain of Doyle. Just as the Lagilites are approaching the borders of California another Flaming Bush appears this time GW Bush who is on fire about immigrants and rambling incoherently about closing the borders ‘Down Mexico way’. Greenstein panics and sends his army of rocks to prevent the Lagilites.The Lagilites are can see the Pharoahs rock army closing in on them just as they are crossing one of those drainage ditches you see in the movies, you know the big concrete ditches like they race the cars along in grease. Just as the Lagilites reach the other side and the rock army are at the bottom of the ditch Doyle makes the referee blow early for half time in the super bowl (with the Idaho Chaffinches leading the Guantanamo detainees by 7 at the half) and a flood of Californian effluence drowns the rock army.